So I just had a conversation with my daughter, whom like me, suffers from anxieties, and I think this conversation ended up being pretty therapeutic for the both of us, and I thought I would share because it might help you too!
So her problem has been with being too anxious to meet new people. She wants new friends and new opportunities, but the answer from both her therapist and I have been the same, put yourself out there.
To her this answer sounds too easily put. We make it sound too easy, while to her it feels so difficult. So I gave her this scenario:
Having my glasses in front of me I said "I cant see. I need to get around so I can go and do things, but I cant see! What should I do?"
She said "Put on your glasses."
"You make that sound so easy, just put on my glasses. But what if I become known as the girl who wears glasses? What if the frame somehow breaks and pokes me in my eye? How do you know for sure that I wont die from doing this simple task of putting on my glasses?!"
At this point she can see what I was doing but she went along with it "Then get yourself contacts"
"No. I'm too scared to put my finger in my eye"
She said "That's understandable, I'm afraid of it too. Just pick up your glasses"
So I started to get just as frustrated as she did when I gave her similar advice. I said "Stop telling me to just put them on, it isn't that simple. Sure the action of actually picking them up is easy, but I am scared. The actual action is easy, but putting them on just isn't!"
She then had me pick up the glasses. Just hold them.
I lifted up the glasses and said "Okay this is part is easy." Then I started to play with the glasses a little. Peering through the lenses. Warming up the ear pieces so they were a little less uncomfortable to put on.
We then worked through it and she got me to put them on.
And that's when it hit me too. This past few weeks I have been distant from posting to my blog and posting to my groups. I haven't been on social media very much and have been just allowing things to die, because I am afraid of the unexpected. I am afraid of not knowing what will happen if I do "just put on the fucking glasses".
Afraid of my potential failure, and equally afraid to my potential success.
Which also reminds me of some sound advice I got from an older man that I know that has owned and has been running his own business for a long time:
The thing that separates a business that fails and a business that succeeds is the willingness to take risks.
His wife used to collect cans for money while he took the risks in the business. They now live as comfortably as one could hope to live at their age all because they made themselves uncomfortable and took those risks. Betted on themselves. Believed in their abilities to succeed, and let the nay sayers say as they pleased while they did what they needed to do.
So this is a little reminder to everyone (including myself): Put on your fucking glasses. It wont be as easy as it sounds. You may poke yourself in the eye a couple times. Some people might judge you and say you look like a nerd, but those people are lame and aren't worth your time. After you get those glasses on, you will realize that YOU were the only one holding you back from putting them on. The action of doing so really is that easy, but you have to work through those anxieties that is preventing you from doing so, and the first step to doing that is just putting them in your hands.
Take risks.
To help everyone remember this, I will be putting in glasses frame molds as well as finished keychains within my shop for a little reminder to take the risk of poking your eye, and putting your fucking glasses on.
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